We’re proud to reveal our very first Ferengi Earth Candidate and it’s the one and only DaiMon Thatcher.
Thatcher ruled as Prime Nagus of the British Empire with an iron fist, dishing out hardline Ferengi ideals disguised as politics for over ten years. We praise her ruthlessness in delivering the following blessings to Acquisition.
BRING BACK THE GUILLOTINE
DaiMon Thatcher loved capital punishment and so do we. Wagering on where the corpse will fall when defenestrated from the top of the Tower of Commerce is one of the best Acquisition opportunities of the year and we know Thatcher would have enjoyed it, and profited handsomely.
MILK DOESN’T GROW ON TREES
Thatcher was brave enough to stop the government incentive of GIVING AWAY milk to school children for FREE. It’s time those greedy little urchins start making profits of their own anyway.
Instead of calculating tax by how big your palace is, you should charge by how many people live in it. The more people you have living in your house, the more profits you’re accumulating. Anyone who’s not earning vast wages shouldn’t deserve a roof over their head anyway. There’s no such thing as too old or too young, “exploitation starts at home.”
DESTROY WORKER’S UNIONS
Unions. Everybody hates them. They cry and moan about “rights” and “safety” while wasting perfectly good Acquisition time. DaiMon Thatcher realised that in order to twist open the golden faucet of unlimited wealth, you have to ween employees away from the overbearing grip of Worker’s Unions. Kindle the Thatcher spirit and keep miners, social workers and hostel employees AWAY from boring unions.
To think there was a time before Thatcher where there wasn’t a monopoly on water, gas, electricity, railways, health and education! Governments shouldn’t have the extra pressure of supplying such petty commodities to the public when big business can do it for them, at a vast profit, of course.
The list goes on and on, but this honourable mention to a passed Ferengi should provide a brief insight into why we consider Margaret to be one of the most fearsome Earthlings who delivered uncompromised trade opportunities to all. If you didn’t make it big under the Free Market economy of the Thatcher era, you never will.
Hail DaiMon Thatcher, may she rise again.